Tree + Wool = Something to Post About

Apparently, a group of ninjas who crochet instead of kill have taken it upon themselves to making  trees (and stuff) look less like trees and more like the furniture in your grandmother’s living room.

In what is quickly becoming the greatest mystery of our time, it seems that someone has decided that nature wasn’t colorful enough and decided to knit wool onto trees. They do this at night when people are sleeping earning them the nickname The Midnight Knitters.

While they may have started with trees, we all know that people who knit are never satisfied. This means that someday soon someone in this small, sleepy town will wake up to find a goat mummified in wool in their yard.

What makes this whole situation so much better is that some asshole cop is actually trying to catch these guys on charges that they are defacing public property. I’m sort of cheering for the cop. They need to catch these guys since they’re stealing the the limelight from some us other knitters. Honestly, fuck you internet. I’ve knitted like thirty really pretty scarves and then these assholes come along and steal all my glory. UGH.

Police hunt ‘The Midnight Knitter’ wool graffiti bandit

– Wayne!